What do you normally do on Friday? Go out to dinner? Maybe drinks? Club it up? Watch Dateline? That Chris Hansen is some sweet eye candy. Well, I dig through garbage. Yes, I literally roll up my sleeves, put on some plastic gloves and dig through coffee grinds, dirty diapers and mango peels (already in a dumpster)..all to find a receipt for a $287.00 purchase from the Container Store. It’s like I want to give my in laws ammunition. When I have a store credit I usually think of it as “free money”, but this time I couldn’t even trick myself let alone Mr. Swirley into thinking we have a gift card to the CS courtesy of our past-selves. This will not stand, you know, this self-induced aggression will not stand, man.
Earlier today I returned the shunned storage cubes and lost our car keys (if you are keeping track that is $600 out the door in less than 15 minutes). But I found the keys (take that NVS!) and then came home to dig through the dumpster all to find my fancy receipt. Did you know “receipt” is the word that got me disqualified from my second grade spelling bee? And receipts (or the lack there of) have haunted me ever since. Literally. EVER SINCE.
In non-idiot news, Ellis left a message for Mr. Swirley that said: “Hi dada.” HI DADA! A trained monkey couldn’t do that – Sweet Baby J, I think we have reached a new milestone here. I am going to show off his skills (and our new gutters)to the neighbors during our little Saturday clean-up.