They even went so far as to make up words. How many pints in a peck? That’s not even real. What’s a peck?

Growing up, we used to travel to lovely Chicago suburb of Orland Park for our Christmas celebrations. My grandparents decorated their house with those big, fat ceramic bulbs until one year someone sole them. Yes, someone stole their lights. From that day on I vowed to put them up when I got a house and yes, bitches, I followed through.

Behold!

And just an FYI, ceramic bulbs means ceramic bulbs. They break and will cut your hands.

Wise words? Bring it.