Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger?

I have been so focused on my “where are they now” blog post about actors from a certain, AMAZING movie that I have been unable to think of anything else (banal or otherwise) to discuss via this little outlet. It’s sucking up hours of my precious free time (7-9 PM) and is becoming a borderline obsession. I must (albeit fruitlessly) search for updates on my best friends from the most successful movie distributed released in 1987. No more hints.

In the meantime, life continues. Ellis is less of a grump now that his ears have stopped exploding and Mr. Swirley and I are preparing for our inaugural grilling session (remember, this is our THIRD grill since moving to Chicago) to open the cooking all meat outdoors season. We purchased a very expensive and heavy chain to scare all the thugs away and to really tacky up the old patio. What I like best about this whole grill thing is that I can wait until Mr. Swirley returns home at night to cook because the last time I used the grill solo it went terribly wrong…meaning I somehow had the gas going for a bit before I hit the pilot and thus blew the lid and interior shelf things sky high. Domesticity is clearly my strong suit.

It’s going to be in the high-70s all week. Since I am convinced the world is ending soon (Mayans and all….), I have been letting EK eat more cookies than is probably advisable. And, for every cookie he eats, I eat ten.

Yesterday I purchased a bottle of Ken’s Salad Dressing for .16. I said it, .16. And today marks day #3 of forgetting to bring Ellis’ medicine to school which requires a second trip to daycare before nap. Happy Spring!

Touche interwebs, touche.

Over the past 24 hours, I have spent more time than I would like to admit searching for a precious video montage that aired during the 2012 Academy Awards*. Apparently, Ms. (Mrs.?) Reese Witherspoon stated that Overboard is her favorite movie and that it “speaks to her soul”. I know!  I too can’t believe that this video is unavailable (it’s the first thing I would post online if I were any serious media outlet). After a little research, I found out that Elle Woods has been quoted as saying, “ I love Overboard. it’s like my favorite movie of all time.” So there you go all you naysayers, an Academy Award winner finally speaks the truth about the pure genius that is Tofutti.  Although I am not a proponent of an “Overboard” remake, should it ever be produced, I stand 100% behind Witherspoon stepping in as Annie Goulahie in all of her oversized dress, strawberry birthmark, navy loving glory.

My aunt’s pantry reminded me of one of my favorite scenes in the movie and yes, you should be ashamed of yourself if you don’t understand the reference. Seriously, just give up now. And just an FYI, Ellis was likely attempting to mame himself during the filming of this video – hence Mr. Swirley’s stern tone.

Today I told a man purchasing over $150 of bottled water that there exist “these crazy things called faucets.” It’s  like I am asking to get punched in the face. During the same shopping trip I bought frozen veggies for .43/bag. Amazeaballs.

Yesterday EK had a play date that turned into an “I’d rather die than share that toy I am not playing with”date – so that was awesome. Twenty minutes after Lilly arrived, Ellis was sent to bed and there he stayed for over two hours. I am hoping that his naughty behavior was due to him not sleeping well the previous night (I may or may not have climbed into his crib with him) – but I honestly have no idea. 

In other Ellis news, I diagnosed the child with a dust allergy last week. He has been coughing during the night for the last, I don’t know, forever. Since he is sick all of the time, I attributed his dry cough to post-nasal drip or whatever trendy disease is floating around preschool. However, guilt got the best of me and I spent a good chunk of last Monday cleaning his tiny room. My cleaning rampage included pulling his crib and arm chair into the middle of the room and dusting every possible nook and cranny. This was followed up by a thorough vacuuming and mopping  session and pillow replacement (some anti-allergy pillowmajig) and…voila! The cough is gone. Don’t I feel like a great mom for identifying the problem? Nope. I feel like a terrible mom for allowing my child to live in a pigpen. I also bought an air purifier for the proper level of overkill. Well, at the least the coughing stopped and now I know to dust in between each of the little slats in his crib. Poor kid.

* High-five to  Ms. Kaiksow for the late night (9?) call letting me know what I was missing.