I offer you this autographed hat signed by Salt, Spinderella, but not Pepa.

Oh snap! It’s a new month. That means five truths and a lie time!

1. Yesterday I attempted to make a pinterest-like Valentine for EK’s classmates and failed. Then I gave up on life and went to bed.

2. My elbows, knees and ankles won’t stop bleeding. I would provide photographic evidence but then you won’t be able to eat. For a week.

3. Even though the room underneath EK’s bedroom isn’t heated (don’t ask), his floor is super warm and cozy. It’s even more comfortable when I don’t have a pillow and use a barbie-sized blanket to “keep warm” from 1-4 AM (also don’t ask).

4. I have almost convinced myself to buy a new camera except for the fact that we need to paint our house, get a new roof, eat, you know – luxuries. Perhaps slamming the old camera against my palm in an effort to loosen granules of sand out of it wasn’t the best idea. Pish posh.

5. I f’ing love winter. It’s the best.

6. I have no loyalty when it comes to TinyURL vs. bitly. Does this make me a communist?

These all might be lies. I don’t know. I am going back to bed. That my friends, is the honest to god truth.