If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

Look, I am not going to beat around the bush. I am pissed. Not pissed like “I locked myself out the house then later realized our bedroom window was open” pissed. No, I am seriously pissed. We just received our appraisal and it came in below the amount required to refi w/o PMI. What does that mean? It means I found another way to waste $250 this week…and you thought I couldn’t go three for three. Fools! You might also think I am above drinking a bottle, er, I mean glass of wine out of a coffee cup. Well, it hasn’t gotten that bad but I certainly considered it. It’s better than straight from the bottle.

In other money-spending news, we bought ourselves a little security camera for the front porch. It cost about as much as the grill, but apparently it’s the the principle of the matter. Last week I found that we didn’t calibrate it quite correctly when I adeptly (yea, I said it) climbed over the fence and tried to break in. Not one picture was taken! But I did find this one and wrongly assumed Mr. Swirley was checking out a fine little Bosworth boo at 6 AM. Instead he was examining a stain on the sidewalk caused by our recently planted (badass) planters.

Chocolate Chex are the most amazing treats ever. Three of the fourteen boxes of cereal purchased yesterday are of the Chocolaty Chex variety. Go buy some and tell me I am wrong.

When you ask EK his name he says “Ellis Svingen” which is probably how those giant Norwegians pronounce it. Always trying to show us up, that kid. Well, I know my name too, buddy. So there.

I don’t know who possessed EK when he was telling us his name, but I am certainly happy he snapped out of it when we got to the animals.

I downloaded some new apps…can you tell?

Snack time with mom aka popcorn in a sieve.

The ole’ pants off game. Players: 1.


And am hellbent on taking the worst pictures ever whenever I am near EK. Nostrils flared? Check. Weird grimace? Oh yea. Eyebrows raised? Why not? Errant wiry, grey hair? Look for yourself

Look over there Ellis! See the mom and son taking a perfectly nice picture together?

And then my heart fell out when he almost busted through the chicken wire and plunged ten million feet below into the monkey pit. They were totally monkeys, so don’t give me that crap about confusing apes for monkeys and calling me ignorant.

Chicken wire? What? Thanks Brookfield Zoo. All I could think about (aside from Ellis’ possible perilous plunge and my love for alliteration) was our faces on the 6 o’clock news and the newscasters shaking their head at our level of stone-cold irresponsibility. It’s chicken wire – completed inadequate to hold anyone over the age of fetus! This is a very long caption. Perhaps it doesn’t really count as a caption but I am not going to cut and paste it into text.

As a complete non sequitur, once I was the handler for an Iraqi delegation and they asked me, at nine o’clock in the evening, to get their clothing dry cleaned…due nine hours later. I took it home, washed, dried (in pay machines no less!) and ironed their duds, put each article of clothing on a hanger, placed them into used dry cleaning bags and delivered everything to their hotel in the morning.

I am relieved to know that chins, unlike noses and ears, don’t continue to grow throughout your lifetime. That would be terrible.

3 thoughts on “If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

  1. Oh that sucks about the house appraisal and re-fi. What a drag. On the upside, your kid is adorable. We have to get him and Boo together. I swear one of these days we’ll make it to Chi-town!

  2. I love your blog although I disagree about chins not continuing to grow. I mean, I used to only have one chin but now in most photos I definitely have two or more.

Wise words? Bring it.