I love hospital parties! Where’s the bar?

It’s the beginning of yet another month and that means …nine truths and a lie.

1. After visiting Home Depot (x2), Menards, Walgreen’s, CVS, JoAnn Fabrics and Dominick’s, I have come up empty handed  in the crappy made-in-China bow department. What the shit, people? The guy at JoAnn’s told me they were sold out three weeks ago – that is like July! Ridiculous. Or perhaps it’s more ridiculous that I have been going to so many stores looking for stupid bows.

2. Mr. Swirley is gone again. This means the clown lights come on even earlier.

3. Ellis was so far beyond awesome last night that I considered liking being a parent during the 2s. Then today happened and I once again hate my life.

4. My dinner tonight consisted of eight stalks (is that what they are called) of asparagus and a beer.

5. Last week I called our contractor a crude name for a prostitute…in Czech. Then I threatened to fight him in the face. This is only the third time I have met him and I think it brought us closer. Except I am still slightly furious…if that is possible.

6. On Friday, a security system consultant man named Mel came by. After assessing the current state of our home and learning that we have house guests arriving on Thursday (in less than 48 hours), he left the house laughing. Like belly-shaking laughter.

7. I will not visit Taco Bell once this week.

8. Ellis has another homework assignment that will not be turned in on time (due tomorrow). Nothing to share at circle time. Again. An outcast at 2.

9. Our bedroom looks like a college freshman’s dorm room. Girl, obviously. We have standards.

10. Tommy D is taking Ellis from Xmas through Dec. 30. F jewelry or make-up – this is the best Christmas present ever.

Wise words? Bring it.