That song has been in my head for ten years. This is not a lie or an exaggeration. When my mind wanders (which is fairly often), it inevitably comes to the line, “sucking on a chili dog outside the tastee freeze”. Poor Mr. Swirley has been hearing me make up lyrics (since I only know the first few lines) for ten years. Exactly. Well nine years and 364 days.
Want to know how we met? Even if you don’t I am going to tell you because ten years is a long time. It was first semester senior year of college and I first met him at a friend’s house. I decided I had a crush on him and we flirted by stuffing smarties in our respective mouths. But then I forgot. Then we met again at a birthday dinner of a mutual friend. I gave him my number (what?!) on the back of a receipt. However, it was 1) not my receipt and, 2) I accidentally wrote down a wrong digit (it was an accident, seriously). Before leaving the restaurant he dropped me on the ground. Hard. So he called and tried to look up the name on the receipt and then gave up. There was a basketball game in there where I was so nervous that I stuffed my face with peanut M&Ms and made myself sick. And a comedy show. And a run-in at the student union where he told the GM and me that he was going to a talk given by Oscar Wilde’s grandson and I told the GM I was “going to marry that man”. Turns out it was an assignment; he wasn’t going out of his own volition.
But nothing. Then second semester rolled around and KML, KJY and I decided that we had to ask a boy out before the end of the year because we were super lame and had never done that. I couldn’t think of anyone and then Sweet Lady D reminded me that I had a crush on Mr. Swirley. Bingo.
So I called him and asked him to go snowshoeing. Yes, snowshoeing. For a person who hates winter that is a bit step (no pun intended). Then the snow started to melt. So I prayed for snow (a first ever) and there was just enough to go. So on Feb. 12, 2001, Mr. Swirley picked me up in his old beater of a car and we drove to Lake Wingra where we snowshoed. I think we also went out to the Shoe Box where he purchased a God awful pair of basketball shoes, but I couldn’t tell him to pass on them because I barely knew the kid. Then he dropped me back at home at 4:00 PM. Awesome.
Two days later, (black Monday I think we called it), I came home to a bouquet of paper flowers in our mailbox. I didn’t look at the card because I assumed it was from one of KJY’s 10,000 admirers. I called Cass and screamed to high hell about how KJY is always getting the men and how I thought it was garbage. She told me to look at the card to see what putz delivered them and low and behold, wouldn’t you know our engineer friend Mr. Swirley has an artistic side. You may roll your eyes, but after being dropped off at 4:00 PM from your first “date”, it was a pretty big deal. I called him and we went to Ella’s Deli on our second date. He got an open-faced Thanksgiving sandwich and I paid. Not that he didn’t offer, I just didn’t know what to do.
Now we have a baby.
So happy nine year and 364 day anniversary (or 10 year anniversary for me since I was praying for snow ten years ago today).