Darth Vader owns the Dallas Cowboys.

DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS???? I mean, of course you did. How could you not unless you live under a water barrel? It’s pretty much the HUGEST THING TO HAPPEN in 2012. Yes my friends, our favorite child actor from Overboard, Jamie Wild, is now engaged.

Jamie is pictured in the bottom left…in Goldie’s loving embrace.

I know! How pumped were you to find out? How did I learn of this amazing update? Facebook. He still hasn’t defriended me. I am guessing he will go ahead and do that after this post, but it’s totally worth it because I can:

1) Brag about knowing this fab piece of information and, if I have the balls…

2) Suggest this sweet little spring frock for the bridesmaids.

I will take the chicken entree and I fully expect to be seated next to Goldie.

Wise words? Bring it.