Bonne Bell lip smacker is dead

I am not sure I want to live in a world that doesn’t include Bonne Bell Lip Smacker, but according to the news, that’s exactly what will happen on March 29, 2015.

From Crain’s Cleveland Business:

The company plans to close substantially all the manufacturing and distribution operations at its location at 1006 Crocker Road in Westlake, resulting in the permanent layoffs of 91 employees there, according to a letter Westlake Mayor Dennis M. Clough received on Thursday, Jan. 29.

Berry Heavenly was my JAM!

Berry Heavenly was my JAM!

That’s messed up, man. How many Christmas mornings did you wake up to a candy-cane tubed filled with Watermelon, Strawberry and Dr. Pepper lip glosses? Or the uber-sparkly tubes that came out in the mid-90s? I could almost smell my angst when I recently popped open a rancid tube of silvery balm goodness.

Maybe the buyer, Markwins International Corp. (also owner of Wet ‘n Wild) will keep the shelves stocked with lip smacker; HEAR OUR PRAYER, MARKWINS!

But until we know the fate of our favorite flavored lip coatings, I suggest you revel in Netflix-enabled nostalgia to the tune of high bangs, caboodle loving teenage girls and everything that made the 1980s so God-damn amazing.

MV5BMTI2OTk5NTE5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODA0NTQzMQ@@._V1_SY317_CR5,0,214,317_AL_1. Pretty in Pink. We all know the plot. What you don’t know is that my friend in high school fell madly in love with a guy she dubbed “Andrew McCarthy”. They never talked or anything, but we spent many a night making mix tapes, slathering on our mom’s beauty creams and coating our lips in Bonne Bell lip glosses just because. I mean, Molly Ringwald’s lips are/were luscious, why couldn’t 13 year-old girls aspire to such great aesthetic heights.

I re-enacted this scene in front of a nurses station at Northwestern Hospital just a few weeks ago.

2. Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Yes, I admit this film is an unexpected choice, however, it was my first exposure to unabashed cussing. If you know my family, this fact is honestly more surprising than anything. Anyway, my best friend and fellow lip-gloss aficionado introduced me to the film and we felt like real badasses. Plus the John Candy/Steve Martin duo is unbeatable. Movies like this turned us from little girls into slightly bigger girls.

Don't tell me these ladies AREN'T wearing lipgloss.

Don’t tell me these ladies AREN’T wearing lipgloss.

3. Coming to America. I might have written about this film before, however, I don’t care – it’s just that good. Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Samuel L. Jackson (what? Yes) and SoulGlo. A prince moves to Queens to find his Queen and, as expected, 1980s-esque hilarity ensued. We watched this beast on repeat when moms and dads weren’t home whilst pressing on fake nails and lubing up our lips.

4. CLUE. OH MAH GAD. I can still hear the sound of the over-watched video tape grinding in the VCR while it played almost every weekend for the better part of the late-1980s. Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Tim Curry and Michael McKean were but a few of this all-star cast. I considered it an educational film as I learned about french maids, deception and the definition of the term, “red herring”.

I find myself referencing this line weekly.

5. Clerks came out in my grunge phase when I desperately wanted a boyfriend, but had no idea how to go about procuring one. Watching dudes like Jay and Silent Bob “work their magic” probably wasn’t the best way to learn about the male species, but hey, it was high school and I was clueless. I still had fun though, which is all that matters.

I plan on reliving some of my lip-smacking glory days via streaming movies and suggest you do the same. Seriously. We have to cope with this loss somehow.

Click here to like Swirleytime on Facebook for quirky shares,  links and a lot of self-deprecating humor. Follow me on twitter @swirleytime.

Don’t rely on fickle Facebook for updates. Subscribe to Swirleytime below for more stories of screw-ups, caregiving and weird observations. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

The ultimate gift list for any 80s movie lover

Need last minute gifts for the 80s movie lover in your life? I’ve got your back. Check out my recent ChicagoNow post for a gallery showcasing goodies inspired by Labyrinth, The Goonies, A Christmas Story and more. You are welcome.

How to watch musicals with your kid and not hate your life

To say I am not a big of musicals is an understatement. At our wedding, I had three requests:

  1. NO ABBA
  2. NO SONGS FROM MUSICALS
  3. Ginuwine’s “Pony” must be the last songs of the night.

But it didn’t always used to be this way. In high school I was in stage crew (don’t judge) for Fiddler on the Roof. I sang my heart out to Grease while watching it for the umpteenth time at my grandparents’ house.

Whatever my problem is with musicals, it’s not bad enough that I will deny my kid from enjoying them in his own right.

Recently we watched Frozen along with the rest of the free world. He loves the soundtrack from the Nightmare Before Christmas (3 seems a little young to watch the movie) to the point that my ears bleed – which, I suppose, is fitting. And now that he will set for an entire film (or most of it), I have been on the hunt for movies I can stomach and he can relish.

Cue my best friend, Netflix, and their insane number of streaming videos.

muppets1. The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984). I am 100% on board with this one. Nostalgia + talking pigs and NYC in the ’80s. I mean, Piggy and Kermie get married, for sweet baby J’s sake! Plus, you’ve got to start teaching your kids hard lessons like, “you can’t be a bunch of animal muppets who write a musical and expect it to play on Broadway without hitting a few bumps in the road.”

chitty chitty2. Chitty Chitty Bang-Bang (1969). I’m a sucker for Dick Van Dyke. So much so that I can sort of look past/loudly talk over the overt sexism displayed in this film.

Girls can fix cars, jerkface!

Maybe it’s because I live with an engineer, but the harebrained inventor is incredibly appealing and young EK likes the jams.

3. School House Rock! Earth (2009). Nope, this isn’t the one we grew up with. Instead, SHR has gone green. With all new content, this 43-minute animated musical focuses on 21st Century kids and the environmental problems their selfish parents (cough cough) have created.

Just love the ocean, man. Cool?

4.I don’t know if this one really counts as a musical, but I freaking love it.

Just listen to Monster Math Squad‘s (2012 – ) theme song, throw some thick-rimmed glasses and TOMS on your kid and you have a mini-hipster. Plus they sing a little in the actual show, so you’ve got that too.

Fine, maybe I don’t hate musicals all that much. But I still loathe ABBA.

*This is a sponsored post, however, all thoughts and opinions are my own. I mean, who would really want to own up to these thoughts anyway, right?

Please follow Swirleytime on twitter @swirleytime and Facebook for interesting stories, links and a lot of self-deprecating humor.

Don’t rely on fickle Facebook for updates. Subscribe to Swirleytime for more stories of screw-ups and weird observations. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Five 1980s movies that will make you ache for a rad rat tail + a Netflix giveaway!

Feldman on the Wendy William's Show in Oct. 2014.

Feldman on the Wendy William’s Show in Oct. 2014.

PEOPLE OF THE INTERWEBS!! Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW. Today is the day you can finally buy Corey Feldman’s new single, “Mercy“. Awww yea. Did you know he has two others LPs?  I didn’t. One entitled “Still Searching for Soul” (1999) and the other aptly named, “Former Child Actor” (2002).

I love this for so many reasons. Mainly because it elicits a wave of nostalgia for my childhood crushes and hours spent watching ridiculous amazing movies on repeat while wearing sifting through my caboodle and eating frozen orange juice concentrate from the can. Don’t ask.

Lately I have found myself re-watching a lot of diddies streaming via Netflix because they are fabulous AND I can be interrupted a zillion times by a 3.5 year old and not lose my place in the film.

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane, shall we? And before I forget, want to check out these movies for yourself? Like Swirleytime on Facebook and post your fave movie that makes you wax nostalgic in the comments section to be entered to win THREE FREE MONTHS of Netflix streaming service. I’ll give a virtual high-five to the winner on April 30 via the Facebooks.

Coreys domination.

Two Coreys domination.

1. License to Drive. I mean, you can’t talk about  1980s movies without including the Two Coreys. Sadly, Corey Haim left us in 2010, but we can celebrate his career with films such as this this one. Boy meets girl. Boy is grounded. Boy doesn’t have license. Boy sneaks out and “borrows” gramps’ Caddy. Boy loses mind as his car is brutally battered over the course of an evening. Boy is forgiven. Boy gets the girl. How can you not appreciate a plot like this?

2. Spaceballs. I am willing to watch pretty much any movie that boasts John Candy as a cast-member. Even Nothing But Trouble, which is probably the most terrible film ever produced. But I digress…

Take every sci-fi movie I never watched and make fun of them, throw in Joan Rivers, Rick Moranis and that girl from Melrose Place, along with a a lot of sexual innuendo I didn’t quite understand, and BOOM!  Sign me up!

3. Grease. To be honest, this one now makes me gag a little; that’s how many times I watched it. I had a thing for those pink polyester jackets and Sandy’s spandex pants,OK?


GIFSoup

4. Steel Magnolias. What 10-year-old girl didn’t love this movie? Family in-fighting, perms,  grumpy old ladies and an armadillo cake. Actually, I probably reference it once a week; I really identify with Ouiser (aka Shirley McLaine). “I’m pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch ‘fore I couldn’t help myself.”

5. Coming to America. Eddie Murphy with lumpy make-up, a giant fur coat and Soul Glo. Enough said.

.
GIFSoup

But Netflix doesn’t stream all of the goodies from the 1980s. So fancypants execs, if you are listening, let’s get the following up and running so I can spend even more time ignoring my kid introduce my kid to the awesomeness that was the 1980s: Beetlejuice, The Shining, Jumping Jack Flash, Uncle Buck, The Burbs, Labyrinth, Little Monsters and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, Overboard.
—–
Please follow Swirleytime on twitter @swirleytime and Facebook for interesting stories, links and a lot of self-deprecating humor.

Don’t rely on fickle Facebook for updates. Subscribe to Swirleytime for more stories of screw-ups and weird observations. Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.