5 Netflix movies you can stream with grandma this Thanksgiving

The holidays are upon us and you know what that means…watching sex scenes with grandma. Er, I mean, eating turkey and stuff.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have rented a movie, popped that sucker in and then coughed/rolled my eyeballs/used the restroom during inappropriate sex scenes and/or gross violence. Call me immature, but watching Clerks with my grandpa or little cousin doesn’t get me into the holiday spirit.

As a favor to you and your sweat glands, below are some movies you can stream via Netflix to avoid an awkward situation all together. Consider it an early holiday present from yours truly.

school of rock1. The School of Rock (PG-13).Jack Black plays a rock musician who refuses to grow up …much to the chagrin of others. He assumes his brother’s identity and lands a job as substitute teacher in a prestigious private school. Initially not wanting to exert too much energy, Black’s character “plays it cool” only to then enlist the “help” of his class to win a Battle of the Bands. On the way, he falls for Joan Cusack‘s character, an uptight-turned-awesome principal, and learns a lesson or two. The kids add a fun component and make this a family friendly movie.

Common Sense Media ranks this as a movie appropriate for ages 11 and up.

2 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (PG-13). I’m not going to lie, I often have trouble figuring out what in God’s name Johnny Depp’s character, Captain Jack Sparrow, is muttering. So, if you have someone hard of hearing joining in on the viewing party, this might not be for you. That said, this is a pretty solid film for everyone in the family. Romance (not enough to make you shift in your seat) + action + comedy = 2:23 minutes not spent listening to your great aunt recount her trip to Walmart.

Common Sense Media ranks this as a movie appropriate for ages 12 and up.

holes2003cdcover451883. Holes (PG). I love this movie. Based on the bestselling Louis Sachar’s novel by the same name, a young Shia LaBeouf is sent a youth detention camp that forces inmates to dig holes day after day. For what? I guess you and granny will have to wait and see. You should watch this even if your younger cousins are downstairs texting each other instead of talking like the post-mod freaks that they are.

Common Sense Media ranks this as a movie appropriate for ages 10 and up.

4. Scrooged (PG-13). Yes, this movie is from the 80s, Yes, it includes some gore (I mean, what Christmas doesn’t include massacres?) and mention of a third nipple. But I still think it’s a solid pick if only for the fact that Bill Murray is the leading man – good old Scrooge. It’s cute, festive and retro for your teen cousins who are SOOOOO into misusing the term “irony”.
Common Sense Media ranks this movie appropriate for ages 12 and up.

How_to_marry_a_millionaire5. How to Marry a Millionaire (NR). This 1953 film is just perfection, aside from that whole “women should marry a man for money” thing. Lauren Bacall, Betty Grable and Marilyn Monroe play three models looking to land themselves a millionaire. However, as you already know, choosing a mate based on net worth alone doesn’t always work out in one’s best interests. It’s a cute comedy that might be appreciated by the older generation hogging couch space.

Common Sense Media ranks this movie appropriate for ages 12 and up.

Feel free to pass along an suggestions for holiday movie-watching fun!

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How to watch musicals with your kid and not hate your life

To say I am not a big of musicals is an understatement. At our wedding, I had three requests:

  1. NO ABBA
  2. NO SONGS FROM MUSICALS
  3. Ginuwine’s “Pony” must be the last songs of the night.

But it didn’t always used to be this way. In high school I was in stage crew (don’t judge) for Fiddler on the Roof. I sang my heart out to Grease while watching it for the umpteenth time at my grandparents’ house.

Whatever my problem is with musicals, it’s not bad enough that I will deny my kid from enjoying them in his own right.

Recently we watched Frozen along with the rest of the free world. He loves the soundtrack from the Nightmare Before Christmas (3 seems a little young to watch the movie) to the point that my ears bleed – which, I suppose, is fitting. And now that he will set for an entire film (or most of it), I have been on the hunt for movies I can stomach and he can relish.

Cue my best friend, Netflix, and their insane number of streaming videos.

muppets1. The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984). I am 100% on board with this one. Nostalgia + talking pigs and NYC in the ’80s. I mean, Piggy and Kermie get married, for sweet baby J’s sake! Plus, you’ve got to start teaching your kids hard lessons like, “you can’t be a bunch of animal muppets who write a musical and expect it to play on Broadway without hitting a few bumps in the road.”

chitty chitty2. Chitty Chitty Bang-Bang (1969). I’m a sucker for Dick Van Dyke. So much so that I can sort of look past/loudly talk over the overt sexism displayed in this film.

Girls can fix cars, jerkface!

Maybe it’s because I live with an engineer, but the harebrained inventor is incredibly appealing and young EK likes the jams.

3. School House Rock! Earth (2009). Nope, this isn’t the one we grew up with. Instead, SHR has gone green. With all new content, this 43-minute animated musical focuses on 21st Century kids and the environmental problems their selfish parents (cough cough) have created.

Just love the ocean, man. Cool?

4.I don’t know if this one really counts as a musical, but I freaking love it.

Just listen to Monster Math Squad‘s (2012 – ) theme song, throw some thick-rimmed glasses and TOMS on your kid and you have a mini-hipster. Plus they sing a little in the actual show, so you’ve got that too.

Fine, maybe I don’t hate musicals all that much. But I still loathe ABBA.

*This is a sponsored post, however, all thoughts and opinions are my own. I mean, who would really want to own up to these thoughts anyway, right?

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Five 1980s movies that will make you ache for a rad rat tail + a Netflix giveaway!

Feldman on the Wendy William's Show in Oct. 2014.

Feldman on the Wendy William’s Show in Oct. 2014.

PEOPLE OF THE INTERWEBS!! Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW. Today is the day you can finally buy Corey Feldman’s new single, “Mercy“. Awww yea. Did you know he has two others LPs?  I didn’t. One entitled “Still Searching for Soul” (1999) and the other aptly named, “Former Child Actor” (2002).

I love this for so many reasons. Mainly because it elicits a wave of nostalgia for my childhood crushes and hours spent watching ridiculous amazing movies on repeat while wearing sifting through my caboodle and eating frozen orange juice concentrate from the can. Don’t ask.

Lately I have found myself re-watching a lot of diddies streaming via Netflix because they are fabulous AND I can be interrupted a zillion times by a 3.5 year old and not lose my place in the film.

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane, shall we? And before I forget, want to check out these movies for yourself? Like Swirleytime on Facebook and post your fave movie that makes you wax nostalgic in the comments section to be entered to win THREE FREE MONTHS of Netflix streaming service. I’ll give a virtual high-five to the winner on April 30 via the Facebooks.

Coreys domination.

Two Coreys domination.

1. License to Drive. I mean, you can’t talk about  1980s movies without including the Two Coreys. Sadly, Corey Haim left us in 2010, but we can celebrate his career with films such as this this one. Boy meets girl. Boy is grounded. Boy doesn’t have license. Boy sneaks out and “borrows” gramps’ Caddy. Boy loses mind as his car is brutally battered over the course of an evening. Boy is forgiven. Boy gets the girl. How can you not appreciate a plot like this?

2. Spaceballs. I am willing to watch pretty much any movie that boasts John Candy as a cast-member. Even Nothing But Trouble, which is probably the most terrible film ever produced. But I digress…

Take every sci-fi movie I never watched and make fun of them, throw in Joan Rivers, Rick Moranis and that girl from Melrose Place, along with a a lot of sexual innuendo I didn’t quite understand, and BOOM!  Sign me up!

3. Grease. To be honest, this one now makes me gag a little; that’s how many times I watched it. I had a thing for those pink polyester jackets and Sandy’s spandex pants,OK?


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4. Steel Magnolias. What 10-year-old girl didn’t love this movie? Family in-fighting, perms,  grumpy old ladies and an armadillo cake. Actually, I probably reference it once a week; I really identify with Ouiser (aka Shirley McLaine). “I’m pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch ‘fore I couldn’t help myself.”

5. Coming to America. Eddie Murphy with lumpy make-up, a giant fur coat and Soul Glo. Enough said.

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But Netflix doesn’t stream all of the goodies from the 1980s. So fancypants execs, if you are listening, let’s get the following up and running so I can spend even more time ignoring my kid introduce my kid to the awesomeness that was the 1980s: Beetlejuice, The Shining, Jumping Jack Flash, Uncle Buck, The Burbs, Labyrinth, Little Monsters and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, Overboard.
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Netflix Enables Nerdiness

I recently joined up with Netflix‘s Stream Team to spend hours staring at the TV devote a reasonable amount of time checking out programs and blathering about them via the Interwebs. IT’S A COMPLETELY VALID EXCUSE TO WATCH TV, PEOPLE! How much better can it get?

In our house, we spend a lot of time watching “nerdy” shows. Like what? I don’t know…how about Mythbusters marathons so long we pop blood vessels in our googley eyeballs? I  guess it’s not much of a surprise since we went on a Robot Date Night a few months ago. And one of us is an Electrical Engineer (hint: it’s not me and my kid can’t yet tie his shoes).

Plus, who doesn’t like gingers and sexy berets?

Anyway, now that we have a kid, maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t promote experiments that end in mass explosions, floods or the general destruction of pretty much anything for the sake of fun science. Hypotheses about snow melting and the mixing of paint colors are about as nuts as we get up in here.

Tphoto(3)hus, I would like to introduce you to the newest members of our nerdy family: the Animal Mechanicals, who hail from America’s top-hat. Here is young EK explaining just how much he loves these Canadian characters to his preschool friend (lower left petal).

Basically, the little dudes get a mission, shape-shift into various tools, vehicles and the like, and save the day.

Dear LORD, is our kid obsessed. Every morning we discuss the respective names, qualities and skills of each character. And, if “we” listen throughout the day, “we” close out the night with two 12 minute episodes. I actually think it’s a pretty great show as it coincides with EK’s new interest in Legos and pretty much everything we do when it comes to home projects. See, friends, learning can be fun! Right?

Look at these cute little robot-transformer-tool-animal thingies!

Look at these cute little robot-transformer-tool-animal thingies!

Then we rush him off to bed so Mr. Swirley and I can watch the second season of House of Cards, HA! Who am I kidding? We binged-watched the entire delicious season its first week out.

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